Monday, April 4, 2011

Finding Joy in Judgment

So I had a performance appraisal at work on Friday.  There were 20 different categories that my enrollment manager and director of enrollment were charged to evaluate and then rate me on a five category scale:

Role Model
Advanced
Proficient
Developing
Not Acceptable

So I was shooting for Role Model in every category.  I even made a video of it to really think of examples of role models.


I was sad, though, to find my overall appraisal was Proficient.  Now Proficient is in the category of Standard Employee, versus an employee who is Above and Beyond as the best and Area of Concern as the least.  So it's a little bit better than the middle.

I was very sad, actually.  I feel like I do come to work everyday and try to work heartily as working for the Lord--and not for man.  So why did it bother me so much that I was not evaluated the way I thought I should have been?

What a sobering reality!  To be judged and evaluated and come up short from expected marks!  I began to think more about the Day of Judgment when I stand before Christ and He perfectly evaluates every aspect of my mind, my heart, my words, my actions, my looks, my hands, my interactions, my everything.  How I will not hear role model then!

So, I began to think:  where's my fighting for joy mentality now?  Why is my soul downcast?  I have to fight for joy in judgment.  I have to work at seeing all the happiness in evaluation and scrutiny.  I have to revisit my motivations to ensure that I am working for Jesus--and not the mere approval of my managers.  I have to humble myself to receive feedback--not so that I can merely be seen better by them--but to really surrender myself to every governing authority as coming from God.

Everything my mangers pointed out had some form of merit and should be seen as opportunities to rejoice that I am get to grow in character.  I can be transformed through this evaluation process for my good.

Most people think of judgment as all bad--as oppressive.  And I admit I felt that way at first.  But with more meditation, evaluation is not the Old Testament law.  I'm not merely crushed by it.  I CAN be a role model by God's grace.  And more importantly, I can hear a positive appraisal on the Day of Judgment.  But God will accurately evaluate me and ensure that I am clearly perceived by His judgments.

For the time I work at the University of Phoenix, I want to make sure that I am quick to listen to all feedback and attempt to improve at my position so that I can be pleasing to Christ--even when I don't fully agree with the feedback.  I want to be quick to make adjustments and develop professionally so that I am fighting for joy that can exist and does exist in judgment.

May God enable all people to be humble and happy to receive judgment!

1 comment:

  1. Mike, I too have had some disappointments of late that make me sad. I am challenged by your humility on here and exposing flaws in order to grow by His grace. You are a treasured brother. By the way, GREAT video.

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